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The other night I caught you checking out the garbage can that had some crappy plastic toys that someone else had pushed onto us and I decided to throw away. The kids never played with them and they served no real purpose other than to take up space. I was waiting for the "why are you throwing these away?" comment but you controlled the urge. I think somewhere in the back of your mind you were actually able to justify them being in the trash.

Now if only you could have done that with the work gloves that I threw away. I remain firm in my belief that work gloves where the finertips have worn out fail to live up to their intended purpose. Plus replacement ones were like $1.79.


And no I am not going to post a secret.


Well, the work gloves situation sounds like the (pardon me for stereotyping) "men and underwear" situation. Men keep underwear (and wear it) until the last vestige of thread is holding it together... sort of. Basically, it is the stretched-out elastic band around the waist, gaping holes below and around, and somewhat of a threaded crotch area. I am asking all men in general... why not buy new underwear to completely encase "the package"... what is the secret to keeping underwear that is basically an elastic band and nothing else?


I actually liked those work gloves -- since the fingers were blown out, I was able to keep a much better grip on whatever it was that I was trying and failing to work on. I may just cut the fingers out of the new ones that Julie bought me, just to be spiteful.

As for underwear -- Cathy, it's hard to explain, but it's just tough to throw away something that's been so close, for so long, to the things that really matter to us.


Oh, and another confession -- I forgot to pack work socks into my gym bag this morning, so I'm sitting at my desk wearing khakis, brown dress shoes, and white gym socks. White gym socks that were worn in the gym this morning. EWW!


Well...leave it to a "band fag" to wear white socks with dress shoes... at least you're not wearing white (or black) socks with sandals... :-)


My confession: I am completely naked beneath my underwear...(pause)... Oh...


Years ago I attended a DCI competition for business - and I loved it! The Drum Majors were captivating - there was something positively sensuous about their clipped yet rhythmic musical directions. Whew! Glad to get that off my chest!

As for humanizing and empathizing with inanimate objects - your mom and I would have a lot in common. I stashed a wad of chewing gum on a rock wall near my grade school about 100 years ago - and I still say "hello" to it when I walk by there to this day - like it might be lonely or something! (That gum refuses to biodegrade!)

Otherwise, most people think I'm pretty normal....


First, if you are projecting human qualities and emotions onto inanimate objects, you need help. Get some. Admitting your secret, however, is the first step. (And way to go Julie with cleaning out the garbage.)

Second, The Cavaliers are still around?! Cool. Okay, I admit that I was also a band fag in my school. In fact, I was a band fag drum major for 3 years. We were the Cowboys with the colors of the Cleveland Browns, so I got to wear a white cowgirl hat, a shiny flaming orange polyester blouse, horrible brown polyester skirt, white gauntlets and boots. I was damn sexy in that get-up, but you remember what the rest of the band girl geeks looked like, so keep that in mind.

I used to love going to the DCI competitions to watch groups who were so good. Kick a--, friend. Tell me when the next one is and I'll sit near you pretending not to know you!


Cathy - have you read Bob's post on his pair of underpants that are only held together by the waist band?



Julie - No, I had not read that stirring tribute, but I read it now. I think the fact that The Braughler Underpants have lived so long is a solid indicator that Bob is heterosexual, as (I should have clarified in my previous post) I have never known a homosexual man to maintain use of underpants that once touched the inner side of Sasson jeans. :-)


OK, I like circus peanuts. You know, those orange things made of some spongy marshmallow-like substance.

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